Shopping Maul

I hate to go to the mall. And I hate shopping. I get all anxious and irritated. It must be something like angoraphobia (fear of sweaters?). But I do just fine in airports. So my teenage daughters help by announcing flight departures and arrivals. While it makes me feel comfortable, I think it kind of creeps everybody else out. And I am okay with that. In fact, I enjoy shopping now. Sometimes I take my belt and shoes off and set them on the counter at Macy's and pretend I am going through Security. Oddly enough, Security usually comes.